Today in honor of a presentation I did on self-care, I spent some time caring for myself. First, it has been raining like crazy here but amazingly enough it stopped this morning. So although I was feeling a bit low, I got up and went on a walk.
Let's back track a bit though. It's my moon time (yes, I am super open. No I do not care), and I had been feeling a little all over the place. I recalled that when I was in my last relationship I would often pick up the vibes of my partner. Although we haven't been together for about 2 months, the thought came to me that perhaps these feelings weren't my own. So the thought crossed my head to check in with him although I hadn't spoken to him in about 4 months (don't do the math from time of end of relationship to last communication, it was a difficult moment in time). So I did what any normal girl does and said well I'll check in on Facebook and see if there's anything going on so I don't just sound like psychic Rose strikes again. FYI, psychic Rose never ends well. Well comes to find out, I had shared some insight with him that he had posted under his own name. As if he had come up with it. I'm pretty sure there's an intellectual theft going on there. I was super mad when I saw it. I couldn't believe it because that was mine! I came up with it, it came from my mind. Then I said...oh remember when I working on cutting my energetic ties to him? Well guess what this was a symbol that it was WORKING! Because energetic parasites when their source starts to dry up need to jar the lines again and get some blood flowing. Well our line was drying up and guess what the claws were digging in to to try to get some new energy. Light bulb, ah ha moment here. I said omg, I'm doing it! So I went through my cleansing system again and began to go over what was really going on here with me.
Fast forward to my walk. I felt so pumped knowing that the well was drying up that I was ready to let go of my melancholy and get moving. So I went on my usual walking path around the neighborhood. While I walked I contemplated on my relationship to the sun and moon. See I have always had resistance to the association between women, femininity, the Goddess, and the moon. The moon just didn't do it for me. I'm not a bit night time person. I feel that night time is for sleeping. I'm a sun worshiper. I can spend ridiculous times in the sun. I just love the sun and being warm. So I go over and over why I have resistance to the moon. Portions are tied to seeing the moon as lesser than the sun because the moon reflects the sun's light. Then I said hmmm, let me look into that. So I googled how the moon reflects the sun's light and came across this site http://www.universetoday.com/75891/why-does-the-moon-shine/.
While reading through the information that was pretty amazing, I came across an interesting tidbit about Venus. Venus it seems is one of the planets that can cast a shadow. MIND BLOWN!!! I have been doing shade work for quite some time (shade is my term for shadow). Usually my work centered on the sun, with a little bit of influence from the moon. Now though I am incorporating Venus into the mix. I cannot wait to see what comes through :). All in all though my walk, this work, my writing. My creativity. My expression is back. I had a slow flow of creative production after the end of my last relationship. but I'm so excited to see things coming about.
But this this is self-care. It's not just the hippy dippy sitting in the lotus position taking yoni breaths. Working through your ish. Caring for your body. Expressing yourself. I felt so much more present and aware than I had felt in quite some time. It made me want to do more. With my self-care presentation that afternoon, I had to practice what I preach. So I rested. I went over my presentation feeling calm, focused, and under no pressure.
How was the presentation? Amazing! In honor of my topic I took myself to my favorite spot, Barnes and Nobles to treat myself to a leisurely stroll through the books. Ran into a delightful friend and am now relaxing with cinnamon tea with apple cider vinegar and honey. Here's to doing the work, loving yourself and being whole.
- Rose
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