Closure

Over the past few days I have been connecting with some old partners. I was feeling low and was in destroyer mode which made me desire to access what all happened in my past 2 romantic relationships. It has been an eye opening and affirming adventure.

Today I spoke with one of my old loves. It was a pleasant conversation. We caught up on each others lives and just talked. As we did though the feelings that I had of wanting to be in a relationship with myself intensified. I didn't feel any pushes to rekindle the flame or see if this partnership was something that I needed to give another try.

I'll admit. During our earlier exchanges I did have a couple of romantic feelings come back up. I thought about the connection we had and the sex which was AMAZING. Then I thought about all the ways in which things didn't flow with ease. I knew deep down that friendship was where we needed to be if any type of relationship were to occur between us but I struggled with standing firmly in that decision.

No longer. Affirmation received.

The other partnership I explored had an interesting conclusion.
Last night as I floated in that in between conscious and sleep state, I had a memory of a past interaction that he and I had. I was on a throne at the front of the room and he was kneeling on the floor. My partner sat next to me along with the rest of the court. I told him that he had failed to succeed at his quest and could not obtain the mysteries he so wanted to receive from me. It was not in a gloating or superior fashion. It was just the truth of what had occurred. The part that really brought me joy was when I said "you have many life times though. Try again." Oh my goodness!!! It was like yes!!! This is what I had been experiencing like we had been in this game time and time again. It's been the same case where trust is meant to be made in order to share inner portions of my being. Trust has never been established though so the sharing has never occurred. The other day though I felt complete closure. I didn't understand it. It was like we were no longer connected. That memory made everything clear. I understood. The opportunity to unite was over.  Now it was time to move on to the next quest.

I am so excited to stand in my being. Love myself fiercely and live in bliss.

-Rose