Thursday, May 7, 2015

I'm Back


Wow, I can't believe that the last time I wrote in my private journal was a month ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long since I wrote. I should have been reflecting but shoulda woula coulda. #Sorrynotsorry. What I’ve found over the past 5 months was another 20 lbs, love, my voice, and two new goals to pursue. I’m going with the flow and letting go of resistance so I won’t touch what I no longer have. But it’s a good thing either way.

            Focus. That’s what I’ve been spending my time working on. Putting my attention towards what I want and what brings me joy. Things didn’t quite go as I had planned, they went even better. I let go. I was disappointed. I let go. I was mad. I let go. It was an amazing revelation when I had been holding on to some negative emotions. What some would call low vibration emotions. One’s that were detrimental to my relationships with myself and with others. I let it go. Said be selfish. What would make you happy right now? At first I immediately turned to food. Chocolate my addiction but then I said, no go get your smoothie (yes it’s chocolate flavored…that is not important), buy yourself Will Travel for Vegan Food to read on your computer, relax with some tea, and enjoy my evening. That’s exactly what I did.

With Love and Light,

Rose

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Moving Forward

Well at least it didn't take a whole year this time to come back!

Random thoughts that I have had:

Netflix: Please update your movies. I am trying to watch good shows while I finish out the year.
Blake Lively: I love you, please make more movies.
In the words of the misguided Kim Kardashian: It shoulda been me!! Thought I have every time I see a happy couple. Did I mention I'm going through a 4 season relationship cleanse to heal from the relationship I just released about a week ago. *sigh* Time to heal folks.

Rose

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Biggest Loser 2014....The Psychology Behind Weight Loss

*Disclaimer-although I do hold a BA in psychology (who doesn't) I am not trained to assess or diagnose clinical or abnormal disorders.

It took all night for me to be able to process what I saw last night. I don't normally watch much television any more. I just don't find it to be very entertaining. But since I am trying to do less work and relax more I decided to watch some network television. Now I have never watched Biggest Loser, and who knew that this was their 14th season! I was like really? How did anyone watch this thing for 14 seasons. But as I watched more of the show it was interesting to watch the interactions of the "contestants". Now I don't support the premise of Biggest Loser because it always seemed like a show that rested on unhealthy weight loss extremes to provide entertainment and not so much in dealing with the emotional, mental, and psychological issues that have lead many of its participants to gain weight.

Regardless, I watched about the last 7 episodes or so and thought it would be exciting to watch the finale while I prepared my smoothies for the next day. I knew that the three finalists would have the most dramatic results as they had the most to "lose". I also figured that the lead contender Rachel Frederickson would most likely have an extreme result as she seemed to be so competitive and determined to win. I figured though that she would tone up and maybe slim down a bit.



What actually appeared was something altogether different. I don't believe in the practice of fat, slim, or skinny shaming but in a competition where one's percentage of weight loss is the deciding factor of whether one succeeds and wins the prize...I think we have finally seen the evidence of what this could really mean. Rachel had a starting weight of 260 and at the end of the show weighed in at 105 lbs at 5'4. Now I know there are issues with BMI, but most focus on the issues at the higher end of scale but I would like to take a look at the lower end classified as underweight. Those numbers as they stand put her at a BMI of 18 slightly under the cut off for healthy range of 19.

But this isn't really about her weight. I see the weight as a physical indicator of bigger individual and social issues within the US. First off, any show that targets weight loss needs to have trained licensed psychologists as a part of the "health" team just as much as they have doctors and trainers. We are holistic beings that cannot be addressed by just fixing one portion, especially not just the physical exterior. There needs to be a holistic assessment of the needs of these individuals as there should be for all.

Cognitive, behavioral, and environmental aspects all effect what we do daily and over the long term. I believe that what occurred on the biggest loser was a combination of a personal desire for control, perfection, and competitiveness combined with a societal standard that praises those very actions and desires while also holding woman at often unobtainable physical standards.

Many are condemning NBC, The Biggest Loser, and Rachel herself for what occurred in the show but really how can you blame someone for doing exactly what was expected of them. Doing what needed to be done to win the prize. Losing the weight to gain back her self confidence. Becoming a thin, thigh-gap toting, woman. Yes, something should have been done by the network, the show, and personally by the contestant but there are so many other factors here that it does not seem fair or helpful to attack Rachel solely. If anything I pretty much agree with those that say she will gain the weight back now that she has "won" the show. What I worry about is the message that is delivered that to "win" you have to go to any extreme necessary. Health and wealth are about more then looking good and having monetary assets.

It's time for a change America.
-Rose

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

February Juice Feast: Day 4 Cont. Onward Ho!!

Alright, so I shared this on the facebook page and I'm sharing here.

I ate a chip. Beanitos' Bar b-q and it was so good! But it was food and it was eating. I thought I would be sad if I ate...or be in denial. But really I just feel more empowered. Not to eat but to share what I go through truthfully AND to continue to juice/ have smoothies.

Lol this is such an exciting development! I don't feel like, well I ate so I might as well just keep eating. I feel like hmm that was nice but let's keep going with this feast!

That's the empowerment that I feel like I have not really experienced before. I've never really had to work for some things but with my weight...with my self...the doubts always been there. But with every new accomplishment and experience that I have I realize that I CAN do what I set my mind to! I can reach my goals and I can do it all while being gentle and loving to myself. This juice feast is turning into something altogether. I can only wait to see what comes next. Greatest lesson learned. Best chip ever.

Here's to tomorrow. Juice on!
-Rose

February Juice Feast: Day 4

I WANT TO EAT!!!



Ok well not that stuff cause I don't even eat animal products if I can avoid it. But lol that is how I'm feeling right now. I just want to chew something. I think I'm hungry and tired of juices. I may need something more filling. I almost...ALMOST went into my supervisors office and got some of the vegetable chips that she has for a snack but I stopped myself. First of all, I won't even like it cause it will taste fake and sad. Then, I'll be having to spend time convincing myself not to feel guilty because I ate (though knowing me I'll be all "I don't care I do what I want!" and rationalize it away.

Anyways, I've finished the two juices I brought with me to work and now will have to wait until I go home for my next juice...I might have a smoothie to though since I am wanting nourishment. We will just have to see when I leave.

I am wondering though...is this body hunger or mind hunger as Carla Douglin calls them. Cause in one sense it's like "yea I'm hungry". Then on the other hand it's like "no I just want to eat because when I get bored or feel a bit tested that's what I've always done". The issue I'm having right now is I think it is honestly a bit of both. So yes, I need to eat (gosh I mean juice) because I probably don't have enough calories in my system since I worked out yesterday.

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Ok had to get some things done but I'm not finished with this post. Today is just a day of my wanting to make it through the week but still wanting something different. Something crunchy! Even on a vegan or raw diet I could have flax seed crackers or carrots. Nope none of that here. They say though when you want crunchy foods its because you have frustration. But I don't necessarily feel frustrated about anything other then the fact that I can't have something crunchy....

*sigh*

Tonight I need to run to the store, then I can go home and chill en mi casa while I continue to work on conference abstracts. Maybe tomorrow or tonight I will have some time to reflect on if there is an emotional component to all of this...I hope there isn't though honestly lol.

To better days,
-Rose

Monday, February 3, 2014

February Juice Feast Day 3-Returning to the Daily Grind

Good day!

So I was kinda worried about going into work and how I would handle the whole juicing while working situation. Seriously though, it's times like these where I just laugh at myself because today has been a breeze!

 In fact I'm not even as hungry as I have been for the past 2 days. Definitely a relief as this means I focus on other things then my juicing. So now back to my life!

I had an unexpected deposit in my bank account so I'm a trying to verify the funds before I get all super happy and run off on a happiness money in the bank jaunt.

Unfortunately it has been impossible to get a hold of payroll! I'm like, "hey! don't you guys know I have already figured out what I'm going to do with this money. I need to know whether or not I get to keep it yo, and with a quickness". But I am being patient and calling...frequently.

February Juice Feast Day 2

Happy groundhog day!!

Well 6 more weeks of winter but that seemed pretty obvious to me. It is so unusually cold here in north Texas. In fact the high for today is 32. Really? How is that a high temperature? Ugh Texas you are letting me down. Where are my mild winters?

Other then the cold, I started out the day really well. Had 16 oz's of water to start the morning and then have been sipping on my juice throughout the rest of the morning. The fantastic thing is that since it's Sunday (The big football game Sunday in fact) I can relax and sit in bed rejuvenating.

Well I have been alternating between reading Vegan blogs and working on 3 abstracts or conferences I would like to present at. If you are interested which you may not be, I conduct research on obesity, weight-loss, race/ethnicity, women, and plant based diets. Lol and yes I love it, I'm a nerd. But anyway, I am drinking a carrot, grapefruit, tangerine, and ginger juice. It is eh. Not nasty and I enjoy it but it is not delicious at all. I will make this again but use two tangerines instead of two grapefruit. I'm not the biggest fan of grapefruit so this should really help me out as far as knowing what types of fruit and how much of it I should be buying.

Overall today was an absolute success. I am overjoyed to be able to continue on this route and already my skin is clearing up. Onward and upward!

Talk to ya tomorrow,
-Rose